Happy New Year

I want to write a conclusive blog of the whole year. A blog that sums up what I've learned and what I've done. I'm not sure if I know exactly how to do this, so I don't think I'm going to try.

I don't remember last new years. I have absolutely no idea where I was or what I was doing. It's funny how that happens. I think I was at winter camp on the 1st, but I can't remember celebrating on the 31st of December.

This year was a trying one. It was filled with some incredibly tough things. Sometimes I'm just reminded that things that happened years ago will always be a part of who I am. I got my first taste of cancer, and it was/is disgusting. I learned to appreciate the people in my life at all times. I went to San Francisco and my life was changed. I realized that there was no way I could not do something to stop sex trafficking. I quickly realized too that people wouldn't be supportive of this career. I went back to dance, and found it was one of the best decisions I made all year. I joined choir and have regretted it everyday since then. I took chemistry and got my first C on a report card. I continuously faced the trial of giving up my desires for a relationship to God.

Looking back, I feel as if I lost a lot this year. A little part of me died this summer when everything was going on, and God's slowly fixing the parts of me that are broken. I still cry for things that happened in 2010. I still had the same relationship problems with my dad that I did in 2009.

I'm learning not to interfere with God's plan. He knows what He's doing, and I want to be willing and able for Him to use me. Sometimes God calls me to do hard things, but if that's what God's wants me to do, there's nowhere else I want to be.

I guess that last sentence sums up my feelings about 2010. I have no idea what God wants to do in my life. He's tried me in every possible way, and I don't always understand why. However I know that nothing is an accident, and that God is watching over me all the time, and this has been enough to comfort me in the hard times. I may not know where God wants me, but I'm trying to be what He wants me to be, and I think that's enough. I think the desire to serve God is enough, even if I'm not always sure where God wants me serving.


I'm wishing my two blog-readers a happy new year, and I'm sorry if you tried to understand this whole thing.


-Savannah