I think I have abandonment issues. I also have issues spelling that word. I feel like there should be an E after the second N. anyway, I'm terrified of people leaving. maybe everyone feels this way. maybe I'm just a dramatic teenager who feels like she's the only one who's ever felt this way. I know I'm not. but I also know that it's unhealthy how much of my time is spent wondering what I would do if someone decided one day they didn't love me anymore. I'd like to blame my dad for this. isn't that who most people blame their problems on? their parents? yeah. I love my dad. but he left me. he left my family. he came back. he's in my life now. he didn't stay away. but not seeing my dad every day when I was younger had a big impact on my life. people always leave. and I guess that's one of those facts of life that you just have to get used to. but it definitely sucks. especially when you care about someone so much that you can't imagine your life without them. that person that you wish you could force to stay. but there's never a guarantee that they'll always love you. there's nothing like that in life. God will never leave. I forget that a lot. I feel like there's nothing concrete in life, but God is. He will always always always love me. and that's what I need to hold onto.