Where You go, I'll go..

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

I remember the beginning of my freshman year, when each student got called into the counselor's office to make a four year plan. I already knew everything that I wanted to take in high school. I knew all my classes would be honors, and I knew where I wanted to go after high school and what I wanted to major in and what I wanted my emphasis to be. I sat down with the counselor and told her my plans, and left the counseling office feeling very confident in my future. I remember feeling so excited about the next four years, and I remember praying as I walked back to class. I told God that my life was His. I told Him that, even though I had spent a lot of time planning my life out, He could change it if He wanted. At the time, I don't think I expected much to change. I wanted to be a children's ministry director at a church. I figured that just had to be in God's will for my life. I had never loved anything as much as I loved teaching Sunday school. It sounds corny, but I didn't think anything could ever mean so much to me. Then I went to San Francisco.

The fact that I even went to San Francisco should have given me a clue that God took my prayer seriously. My youth group was originally supposed to go to Mexico, where we would get to work with little kids. I was so excited about this; I was great with kids. Obviously God wanted me there. But due to safety issues we ended up cancelling the trip, and my youth pastor told me we would be going to San Francisco to do homeless ministry instead. At that point I figured that God didn't need me for this trip. I hated talking to strangers. I couldn't even go up to people in a store to ask where something was. It made me so nervous. So the next time I saw Chris he asked if I would be going to San Francisco. Up until that point I had been prepared to say no, but God's voice overpowered mine at that moment, and without knowing what I was doing, I said yes. I know it wasn't me that spoke that day. That was definitely God speaking through me. I went to San Francisco and my life was changed. I experienced things and saw things that forever changed who I was. I still wanted to work with kids, but I knew God had so much more in mind.

It sounds cheesy to say so, but the next few years went quickly. My senior year is halfway over, and I'm not sure where time went. I've gone to San Francisco for three summers now, and each year I leave a larger part of my heart there. The city is so broken and yet so beautiful, and I can't help but love it. I would still love to be a children's ministry director, and maybe one day I will. But right now, I believe God's calling me to San Francisco. I've been applying to colleges, but a huge part of me feels as if it's a waste. I don't believe that's where He wants me this year. I think He wants me to take the same step I did when I first agreed to go to San Fran.

The lyrics that I posted at the beginning of this post have become my lyrics to live by. We were singing this song in church yesterday, and I broke down crying. It's a huge statement to make, telling God you'll go where he goes, love who he loves. God goes into scary places. He loves people that my selfish side would love to ignore. So as my senior year ends, and I try to figure out what comes next, I will hold onto the truth that God has a plan for me that is infinitely better than anything I could ever plan for myself.



-Sav