Renewal and Redemption

I don’t know if you guys know this, but fifth graders are mean! Every time I walk into our fourth and fifth grade room I start to feel all my insecurities from fifth grade bubbling up. All of a sudden I’m worried about the way my hair looks and wondering why I don’t dress as well as this other little girl and I feel like everyone is judging me -- and these are just 10 year olds! I’m twice their age feeling intimated by them, and it’s awful. 

So a couple weeks ago we were low on volunteers and I got to lead a small group of fifth graders. Well..got to/had to..I don’t know which one. We were so low on volunteers that I ended up leading three tables of girls. I was feeling nervous and wondering how I would be able to have intentional conversations with such a large group of girls.

Here’s the thing about fifth grade girls: they’re cliquey. And at that age they all have such different personalities. So on one side we have girls with purses more expensive than any purse I own with their lip gloss in it and maybe their offering money since that’s really all a fifth grade girl has to put in a purse. On another side we have the quieter group, who have their own silly sense of humor that most girls don’t get. Then we have the sporty girls on the other side who are all on the same soccer and softball teams and whatever other sports are popular. And there’s a very clear division. 

That week we were learning about Esther and having courage in difficult or uncomfortable situations (which is funny considering how uncomfortable I was feeling). As I went in to talk with them I felt all my fifth grade fears coming back in. I hated Sunday school when I was in fifth grade. I grew up in a divorced home, so I lived with my mom during the week and visited my dad on the weekends. He lived over an hour away, so when I went to church I was with girls who I didn’t go to school with and I didn’t go to midweek Bible studies with. And they were school friends and sports friends and church friends and their parents were all friends so they had this special connection that I just wasn’t a part of. 

As I sat down with this group of 20 or so girls I asked what it would look like to be courageous in their own lives. My question was met with blank stares from a few and cliché answers from a few, so I started feeding them more specific questions. I asked “What would it look like to be courageous when a girl at school who’s different than you is sitting alone?” A couple of the girls gave the expected answer: “Go sit with her” but it was clear that there was no depth to that and they were just saying what I wanted to hear. Then a girl at one table quietly said “What if I’m the girl sitting alone?” After that a girl from a different table turned and said “Yeah and what if one day my friends like me and then the next day they don’t want to talk to me?” and then a girl from the third table turned around and said “I had this necklace that I really liked and then when I got to school my friends made fun of me and I don’t know why so now I don’t want to wear it.” 

As I listened to these girls share these similar stories I saw walls breaking down. Here these 20 girls realized that they were experiencing similar situations and similar pain in their lives. It wasn’t about their different interests anymore, it was about their shared experiences. And as I watched these completely different groups of girls connect I felt so much hope about what is happening at this church. The things that these girls are going through is real and it hurts. It’s no longer just crafts and games – it’s real and these moments that the girls experience in church and school are moments that will stay with them forever. I still remember what my fifth grade Sunday school experience was like. So I’m excited because I see walls coming down in our children’s rooms, and I am hopeful that when these girls are older they will look back on their time in Sunday school and remember how loved they felt by God through the way the girls treated them and the relationships they were able to build.

P.S. As I wrote this blog post I was overwhelmed with how good God has been to me. He took me,a girl who felt ignored and hurt at church as a 10 year old, and brought me into ministry where I can make a difference in the life of 5^th grade girls who may be feeling just like I did. I love that I get to be a part of their stories, a part of such an influential time in their lives. I am excited that I am able to use what was a tough time for me and turn it into something beautiful. My freshman year in college in Foundations of Ministry we read a book that said that our biggest ministries will come from our biggest hurts, and I am so grateful for that. 

Storytime

I love working with children. I love playing games with them and running around on the playground and making crafts while having the silliest conversations. More than that though I love teaching them about God.

Half the people who will ever believe in Christ will do so by the age of 12, and by the age of 9 their basic moral foundation has already been formed. I love having the opportunity to teach these kids about who God is and how much He loves them, because I know that it is so important that they hear it early on. That being said, I have a really cool story to share of what happened Sunday morning.

I was in the kindergarten and first grade classroom, and there was one boy who was very squirrelly. He was playing at the Lego table during worship and story time, so I walked over to him to ask him to join the other kids. Every time I would try to bring him back to story time he would jump to another activity or table. Eventually I decided to just sit and play with him, and I thought that maybe God had something else for him that couldn’t be found by sitting down for the story. We sat and played for a while, and I got to have a great little conversation with him about everything from what it means to worship God to what video game he likes best.

After the story ended it was time to go to small groups.

I was nervous that this boy wouldn’t want to go to the small group, but he was surprisingly very excited about it so we went and sat down at a table. The activity was a simple connect the dots sheet, which he finished in about 30 seconds. My immediate thought was Oh no, now I have to find some other way to keep him occupied so that he doesn’t start playing with the toys. He was just starting to get up to play again when he turned around and said “Hey, a book!” and pointed to the Bible sitting on the table.

I sort of chuckled and said, “Yeah, do you know what book that is?”

“No, what is it?”

“Oh,” I said, sort of surprised. “It’s a Bible.”

“What’s a Bible?” he asked.

I got to sit and talk with this boy about the Bible, how God wrote us all these stories about things that really happened so that we could know Him better. I told him that every story in the Bible helps us to see how much God loves us and wants to be with us. He then started flipping back and forth between pages, asking me what was on every page. I would paraphrase what was on one page or read a couple sentences, and then he would flip to another page and then another and another. 

We did this for about ten minutes. Sometimes there were pictures on the pages – I mean real pictures like “This is what Jerusalem looks like,” not cartoon pictures. He stopped on one page and pointed to a picture of a whip and asked me what it was. Then he pointed to a word beneath it (flogging) and asked what it said, which was proceeded by him asking what flogging means. My first thought was Great, this kid is going to go home and tell his parents that he learned what flogging means at church. Instead though he looked at me and said “I want a Bible!”

I told him that I would love for him to have a Bible, and that I was almost positive that if he asked his mom and dad for a Bible they would love to get it for him. Church got out about 10 minutes later, and his parents came in and saw us sitting together flipping through the Bible. They asked him if he had been reading the Bible with me and he immediately said “I want a Bible!” His parents both looked a little shocked at first and said, “A Bible of your very own?” He said yes and when the parents said they would love to go get one for him, I saw his face light up as if it were Christmas morning. In fact he even said, “Really!? Where do we even get a Bible?” As he left I heard his parents telling him where they could go get one and discussing what Bible they should get.

I was so happy that I got to see that moment, to see a child’s eyes light up at the idea of getting a Bible. This child hasn’t even started kindergarten yet, and already he is excited about reading God’s word. Almost just as exciting for me was watching him have this conversation with his parents. My hope in ministry is always to see the parents as the ones raising their kids spiritually, so I loved seeing their eyes light up as well when their kid said he wanted a Bible. I love that they get to experience getting a Bible together as a family, and all the conversations that will stem from that. This moment reminded me that God pursues even the littlest of children, and I am so excited to see how this little boy’s faith begins to grow. 

My Passion

Passion: strong and barely controllable emotion; the suffering and death of Jesus Christ

I love asking people what they are passionate about. I love watching people's eyes light up as they talk about what makes them tick. I get so excited when I hear people excited about something. Listening to someone share their passions is an honor and privilege, and I am always grateful when someone opens up about those things to me. 

As a child of God, I am passionate about helping others see that they are adopted in Christ. I am passionate about seeing Jesus change lives in the way He changed mine, especially kids. 

I love playing with kids, listening to their stories, and telling them Bible stories. I love making weird creations out of Playdoh, laughing and silly jokes, and playing tag with giggling kids. I love watching a child's eyes light up as he or she begins to make sense of the Big God Story. I love listening to their questions as they ponder what it means when I say that Christ died for them. I get crazy excited when children ask questions that most adults don't think they're capable of asking. I am filled with joy at the sight of a child worshipping God through songs, and I love listening to the tender-hearted prayers of little children. 

I love families. I love talking to parents and hearing their stories. I love telling parents how great their kids are, and seeing how comfortable parents are with leaving their kids in my Sunday school classes. I love encouraging parents, providing them with helpful hints and tips for parenting, and just listening to their joys and struggles. 

I value life, love, family, and the faith community. I love seeing all of these things collide in the local church. I am passionate about being a woman of Christ in every area of my life, whether it be at work or at home. 

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, I am passionate about Jesus. I found it interesting that when I looked up the definition of passion, Jesus' death showed up as a definition. The Passion of Christ, His death and resurrection, was all about saving us. It was about extending grace to us, taking on the punishment for our sins, and granting me what I do not deserve: a relationship with God.

I am passionate about the Passion of Christ. I am passionate about making sure that everyone knows the good news of Christ's resurrection. 

My Vision

Vision: An experience of seeing something in a dream or trance, or as a supernatural apparition. 

I do not believe in the idea of a supernatural apparition, and my vision for the future has not come together in some sort of trance. It has not come in a dream either, but rather it is my dream. If I sit and think about everything that I hope to one day see in my ministry, what comes about is my vision. 

I believe that it is unhealthy to try to measure success in ministry. There are certainly ways to make sure that you are being effective in your ministry, but to measure success by numbers of attenders or numbers of baptisms or altar calls or anything else becomes extremely dangerous. Many church leaders end up making numbers their idol, focusing so hard on seeing their ministry grow in size, and neglecting to see if those in the church are growing themselves. With that being said, my vision does not have to do with success in the normal sense of the word. 

If I lived ten years in the future and looked back on my ministry thus far, this is what I would like to see:

• A consistent set of volunteers who have been serving steadily for years because they feel supported, equipped, and appreciated
• Kids who grew up in my ministry living out a relationship with God
• Kids who grew up in my ministry starting to serve in ministry themselves
• Kids excited to come to church and sad to leave
• Parents who feel confident in their role as spiritual nurturers of their family, and supported by the church in all their needs 

I am constantly in the process of growing in Christ and becoming more like Him, so I know in ten years I will not be the same. I am praying that I will be closer to God and more connected to His vision for children's ministry.

My vision is that I can look back in ten years and see how God has used me to reach others. I hope I can look back and see how my quirks, weaknesses, and strengths have worked together to glorify God. 

My Mission

Mission: the vocation or calling of a religious organization, especially a Christian one, to go out into the world and spread its faith

My mission is to go out into the world and spread my faith in Jesus Christ. My mission is to see others come to this same saving faith. My mission is to mentor and disciple families. 

The Local Church

Right now, God is calling me to the local church. There is a trend right now that says the church is not cool. People are saying that they left the church and found God, that they do church in the mountains or from their bed or anywhere else but an actual church. A lot of this comes from the fact that people in churches are broken, and some people cannot stand to admit that they too contribute to the brokenness of the church. Jesus was religious, though. He went to the synagogues, He participated in the traditions, He celebrated the religious holidays. He was religious. Yes, there is a time and place for solitude in the mountains. However, there is also a time for fellowship with other believers, for formal teaching and taking of the sacraments. 

I grew up in the church, but I grew up in a broken home with mom living in a different house than dad. I switched houses on the weekends, and split my time between my parents. I grew up knowing that God loved me but struggling to actually see the evidence sometimes in my life. It was the local church that came alongside me here. My children's ministry director and my youth pastor intervened in my life. They wrapped me in prayer and support, and were always there for me when I had questions or doubts. They celebrated victorious moments with me, and grieved with me in tough times. 

I love the local church because God used the people there to shape me into who I am today. My mission is found in the local church. 

My Calling

Calling: a strong urge to a particular way of life; a vocation

First and foremost, I am called to love others as Christ has loved me. That, in and of itself, is a hefty calling. See, Jesus died for us because of how much He loved us. He lived the life of a servant even though His true identity is a King. Loving as Christ loved me is no easy task, but it is in the power of the Holy Spirit that I am able to love at all, and I am excited to see how He works through me in ministry.

Vocational Calling

My vocational calling is in ministry. I am called to serve God by loving His little ones and teaching them about Him. I am compelled to move because of what Christ did for me on that cross. I am drawn to His heart, and His heart is for children. Christ pursued me when I was just four years old, so I am thoroughly convinced that He wants children to know His heart, know His love, and know salvation. 

My strong urge is to live in a way that helps kids come alive with the power of Christ. We are all born into sin, and all dead in our transgressions. We all need to be brought to life. I want to help kids realize this new life, and I want them to understand that God loves us no matter how old we are.

Community and Family

Outside of my vocational calling, I believe I am called to live in community and to raise a spiritually strong family.

I love community. I love friendships. Life is better when I am surrounded by those I love. I love drinking coffee, but the coffee seems to taste better if I am drinking it with friends. I love Disneyland, but my smile is bigger when I am with friends. I love dancing and laughing and goofing off, and I love doing these things with my friends. I would not be who I am if it were not for my friends. I am called to live in this community, to be vulnerable, loving, and honest with those God has placed in my life.

I also love family. I love my family specifically, but I also love the idea of family. I love that God can be seen when the family functions as God planned it. I want to serve families. I feel this urgency to help parents raise their kids spiritually. I believe that God can be so glorified through the family, and I feel that God is calling me to share this urgency with others. I want to see this realized in my own family. I am not married, but I am already praying for the family I will have. I want to raise a family that is so focused on Christ, it makes other people notice. I want to lead my children alongside my husband as we love and forgive as Christ did for us. 

My calling is to serve God through serving His children and families, and I can't wait to see where this takes me. 

Welcome!

Hey there! My name is Savannah. I am a child of God, a servant of the King, and a college graduate who is excited about God using me in children's ministry.  My story can be found in the about section of this blog, but here are a few fun facts about me:

• I am a graduate of Biola University (Go eagles!)
• I have known since middle school that children's ministry was where God wanted me to go
• I love Broadway, Disneyland, and teaching the Bible to excited kids

So what's the purpose of this blog? Ministry is exhausting. It is draining to have a job where you pour your heart into every activity you do. The weeks can be filled with editing curriculum, talking to disgruntled parents, leading staff meetings, all while trying to remain deeply rooted in Christ's love and grace. However, the most challenging day comes on Sunday. It doesn't matter how much you prepared for Sunday during the week. Sundays are always crazy. Anyone in ministry can tell you that by the time Sunday morning ends, it is time for a loooong nap. If you're reading this blog and you are in full time ministry, I sincerely hope that you have Mondays off. It takes a full day to recover after the busyness of Sunday morning. When I get home from church on Sundays, I like to take a full 24 hours to refresh myself in the Word and reflect on what happened Sunday. 

This blog is about that. It is about the Mondays after ministry days. It is a reflection on the successes and failures of Sunday morning, the moments of grace and the God moments of the morning. I would love to hear your comments. I am doing this whole ministry thing and figuring it out and learning new things every week. I am far from perfect, but God has been so good to me in my life and ministry, and I can't wait to share that with you!

-Savannah